welcome back xanga. after a long absence i guess i have some time to get it going again. well...school is still going. i have 2 finals in the next 2 weeks.
all in all i am slugging and sluggish. i need to get my ass moving and grooving again. however, might nix the expensive gym membership and start taking many dance classes around pasadena.
its taken me about 7.5 months and over $7000 loss in rental income to get my place almost finally clean. lesson learned: don't be cheap and hire a maid and get rid of/organize paperwork asap = less than $50 worth of folders and file organizers. simple economic travesty. also, just put your old shit into boxes and store.
see room raiders on mtv. in this fashion if someone raided my room what would they see? 1) pet eraser vacuum. seriously nasty inside with caked in dander 2) hair encrusted nova foam mattress on the carpet 3) dirty carpet (time for professional steam clean) 4) big bookcase filled with books on anatomy, health, nursing, law, business, accounting, test prep materials, novels and school catalogues 5) my laptop with loads of school files 6) mini dvd player (that plays gilmore girls mostly so i have incessant chatter in the backrgound while i study ) 7) hospital volunteer flyer (that i stopped . i have no time) 8) poster of travis stork (hot er doctor who lives in colorado) 9) cut out pictures of a girl reading by herself at a lake 10) a million parking tickets that haven't been paid 11) bills that need to get paid 12) ipod and docking station (still in box) as well as external hard drive nib 13) title to my condo (all underneath my dresser that could fill one box) 14) 3 boxes of checks for my four bank accounts (i only opened them to do ebay and amazon. i can't open an amazon account even though i expressly opened up new accounts for this purpose and tried myriad of other ways. unless i get a new cell phone account forget it. hmmm, wonder how much that is. what i can't sell i'll donate and get a tax deductible. probably not much good anyhoo since my expenses are always more than my income. so far i have sold over $500 worth of my shit on ebay. yea !) pretty pointless compared to how much money i have lost on rent. but at least im getting clean) 15) advil, chlorella, vitamins, perfum, lotion etc, lots of bath and body in the bathroom (still dirty) 16) big ass anatomy book on top of my dresser 17) box of color pencils, markers, charcoal, different shade lead pencils, paint brushes 18) scrapbooking supplies 19) not a lot of clothes in the closet. labels: victoria's secret pink, lady hathaway dress shirts, bebe tops, had some bcbg dress in there which i am selling now and never wore, h&m casual dresses, american apparel dresses, one $500 marc jacobs black jacket i will wear this winter, columbia sportswear, kenneth cole leather crop jacket, anthropologie skirts and sweaters, 1 scarf, italian red pumps, 2 pairs of boots, one from rome and one from stockholm 20) scrapbooking paraphernalia from europe
surmise: - girl is into books - girl is into health and professional studies - girl is kind of dirty - girl has a pet - girl is into bath and beauty - girl is not too cheap but not really flashy - girl has been to europe
wow
station fire still humming. i'm starting biotech night classes. at the end of the series i might know how to culture stem cells, thats if i get to the end...
i have this annoying friend who seems insecure. he told me he wants to go to medical school. he is already 24 years old and not finished with his clinical degree. he has about 1.5 + to go for his B.S. if he goes to medical school at say, 26 and finishes at 30, he might still be considered a non-traditional student, in the lower range for age deviance, but non-trad nonetheless. after every statement i made, he seemed to retort with "but..." he said i was being negative about his case for med school. quite the contrary, i was just stating that he would be considered non-trad. i told him he is insecure about his wishes and for some reason, he seems to be bounding his ideas off of me. he went on to explain that w/o clinical scientists, the doctors would have no basis upon which to make their diagnoses so that clinical scientists are especially prime for consideration for medical school. this might be true in a biologically clinical sense, however, in the same token, it could be said that w/o nurses, doctors would have no one to carry out the work of patient care so they are esp. prime for medical school or that w/o pharamacists, patients and doctors would have no professionals to carry out the dissemination of medication, which by the way, nurses do too in hospitals.
i am also a non-traditional student. i am 31 this summer and still completing my nursing degree after i received a B.A. in english and worked for a few years. so it irked me especially when hanging out with this friend today, i was studying at his place and b/c i was bothering him to do me an odd favor he retorted: "why don' t you study. i want you to get a good grade since you've been in college for so long." its true that i've been in school basically my whole life and that i am a non-trad student. what does that have to do with my study habits? is he insinuating that i am a long-time student b/c i have bad grades or i am a failure as a student? why can't he acknowledge he is a non-trad student and recognize that i am one too? why is it that whenever i ask him biology questions he doesn't know the answer, whereas i help him immensely all the time with his english related assignments. he doesn't reciprocate and it is especially annoying that he was insensitive enough to make the comments that he did.
i know things have not been easy for him in pursuit of education. however, he tends to put off minorities (blacks an hispanics especially) as well as pander and fish for praise since he thinks his clinical major is so great or difficult. i have taken a class with him before and it was a 400 level microbiology class that i should not have taken since i am not a biology major. he tends to put down those that he perceives as not doing as well as he is. one time he sent me a "joke" text about homeless people and poor women who got raped found with food stamps on their body. how crude. i attribute this to cultural differences as well as economic differences. not to mention he is gay and he sometimes runs from seeming manipulative and a catty female, to sensitive, to insensitive, to harsh and judgemental and just totally a stalwart male. he is all over the fucking place.
i am tired of analyzing him since he is just whacked out sometimes. this is someone i took a "break" from for a year. he has mellowed out somewhat but that is b/c he got my message loud and clear. my gripes with him is that he is overly sexual and overly crass at times.
ive been mildly depressed after returning from europe. sometimes i wonder why i'm doing anything that i am doing other than to put food into my mouth and simply live. here, i am just so busy...busybody. one of the reasons i am blah is that i got my wisdom teeth out and have not been exercising regularly for over 2 months = i have a $125 / month gym membership and this is so sad. the teeth are fine now. so i need to retune myself.
currently taking dev psych and religion for nursing prereqs. religion...um, yea. fall semester will be busy. 3 hard science, one with lab, 1 online science and 1 online religion.
im still doing my nursing apps. god, i've been putting those off and off. if i don't get in i'll do LVN first. back to that.
i am looking for a new job, not sure if i will work nights or days. not sure if i will volunteer at county. my old boss there joined the army as a paratrooper. they nixed his program so i guess he had few options.
i just want to be done with school already, at least nursing. i wish i had started this sooner. hindsight is 20/20. i know i'm going to try to get an MSN, JD or MD after i get an RN so there is so much more school for me and i am already at the point where i should have gotten my graduate degree and had some experience in a career. i want to kick myself.
been busy with nursing school apps. i still need to do dreaded recommendations and i actually applied to programs even if i'm not finished with all prerequisities. i'm so procrastinating with this that when i was in a gothic church in barcelona about 2 weeks ago, i decidedly told myself to remember the blood red of the illuminated devotion candles and the marble statue of perhaps, st. joseph, lying on his side as if awaiting his entry into a catacomb, thinking to myself "yes...this is what you will end up like if you don't finish those fucking recommendations and applications." if i don't get in this year, i'll complete LVN, then reapply.
i went to europe: stockholm, barcelona, cassis and nice for xmas (10 days) with my brother who is in graduate school in stockholm. i had not seen him for well over a year, perhaps two, and he is developing into a real asshole. he's going through the "should i be a journalist or a doctor" quandary. of course parents are pushing the doctor route. he'll have to do some hard thinking during the remainder of his european tour.
since i have gotten back i have food shopped, roamed the mostly deserted malls, watched about 4-5 movies and slept in. i have not unpacked for about 10+ days.
i am thinking i am getting a bit bored with la, but all i really need is the sun shining once again. i wish i could have continued on the european tour. perhaps i should research living there and moving abroad. wonder what it is like for nurses in the various countries: sweden, france, italy, england, switzerland, austria, spain, denmark. i can better digest everything in europe for some reason. maybe its because i wouldn't be entrenched. i would always be a virtual tourist as if i was permanently stuck in an airport, some fabulous ones like schipopohl, copenhagen, charles de gaulle. my brother to i: "you oftentimes get this look of wanderlust, as if you are lost. i know you aren't, but you get the look."
i was only there for 10 days but after i came back i thought ok: time for bloat, time for loud newscasters, time for weird playing out of minority politics at your local bath and body works, time for real life, time to be hard and not soft, time to get back into it.
so i am taking a about 40 hour per week LVN class in semi-ghetto el monte. i was at a starbux at garvey and valley and this punk stole my purse on his bike. i grabbed his bookbag off his back and he stumbled off his bike ditching it. i was sooooo surprised there were so many good bystanders who helped.
1) the couple with teenage daughter who saw him running away at an intersection and actually jumped out of the car while her husband sped after him. later i found out he cornered him and thats when he dropped my purse and his own bookbag. w/o them i wouldn't have gotten my stuff back.
2) the two guys from the next door pep boys who ran after him but couldn't catch him when he ran into someone's yard.
3) a young guy who was sitting near the table outside, the one i was sitting at, with my purse on top of the table...ran after him too.
4) the young guys friend who ran after him too.
5) the formerly incarcerated 35 year old who looked like she was 60 who told me he was a neighborhood boy who attended the local junior high and where to find him.
so i'm pressing charges.
in addition to the 40 hour, i'm re-taking anatomy at a local JC, re-taking micro at UCLA since i dropped over the summer (with the same professor....please no pre-meds or actual med students in class), online philosophy at another JC. trying to get to equinox yoga classes as much as i can. i am convinced yoga is like sex in its benefits, much like any form of exercise. i'm still working FT nights on weekends at the hospital. i was pretty good on attendance for 7 weeks but since school started i will be using my paid time off hours. i need to save them, however, to visit my brother in stockholm over the winter break. if i get an A in anatomy, i am re-applying to the expensive accelerated BSN program nearby which combines clinical at a local hospital with combined online and in-class study. although the LVN is cheap, i feel very out-of-place there as many of my classmates are first generation immigrants with excellent language skills. however, since many of my classmates are also uneducated, its a whole different mindset that they have. also, the program overseers are like prison wardens. i feel very constricted. i actually feel like i'm back in catholic elementary school. after about a year, i want to apply to an MSN program. i'm going to stick out LVN until the winter until i know if i'm accepted then ditch.
in other news, i love my sheltie dog. he is like my kid. i'm pretty convinced i won't have any of my own although i'm not unattractive. want to get somewhere soon: lying on the beach, running with sheltie and hiking or laying out in vegas. i was planning on buying another house short-sale in a year. but this might be in another 1.5 years or more if i leave the LVN program.
thats really it for me: - dancing with the stars - dr 90210 - crusoe - madmen - true blood (wish i had hbo...will wait for dvd) - jon & kate plus 8 - family ties - northern exposure - burn notice - survivor - will & grace
having wild sex 24/7, doing cocaine, living on the beach, become a gourmet chef, being able to afford stuff on the Robb Report, become a world class dancer or figure skater, make an independent film that that wins many awards, living in the Hollywood Hills, traveling around the world, restoring a villa in Tuscany or Cote d'Azur, living on the Place Riche (sp?), studying at the London School of Economics, shopping in Milan, going on safari in Africa, creating business ventures
)
i have a $125 / month gym membership and this is so sad. the teeth are fine now. so i need to retune myself.
